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Life Changes and Motivational Thoughts
by Lan Rose aka FattyBingRips
All my life, from the start to the finish, I have embraced the idea that nobody is better or worse than me in anything I do. I have always felt that I control my future, and have always hated and feared the idea of a destiny or a fate. My first thought was that I was a rare breed, one that, while feeling out of place, was very accepted for the fact that nobody was like me. I constantly found myself acting as an advisor to people, in many varied situations. I've played relationship doctor, mentor, a brother to a friend with no family, the care taker role, a brother to my real sister and a son to my parents. Contradictorily, I feel like I have nobody to turn to. How is it, then, that I can give these people all sorts of guidance and condolences when I, myself, have no type of guideline to follow when giving this advice?
This came to me when I was in a period of indifference...I had very few doubts in my life, then one major thing came up. I had to leave the one person that brought me joy for the education I wanted and needed to put me further in what it is I choose to do. The close ties this situation had to so many instances I dealt with struck a chord that made me look back and really realize what my standards and goals were. I know that I want somebody to share my life with, but I don't want that now. On the other hand, I want more and more for myself than I could ever dream of, and there a few avenues one can take in order to reach this achieved status.
School is more of an awakening than anything else. Past the learning, past the parties, past the women you fall for and the men you develop camaraderie with. Past the professors that love you or hate you, and past your friends that knew you before you went away. You must succeed; if you don't, your aim is no longer seen through the crosshairs. Your wants and desires might fall between the cracks. I woke up when I went away to college, and when my eyes opened I saw something that changed me forever. I was reading a book of world statistics, and vaguely, I remember the struggle felt by third world countries, developing nations, red giant stars, professional fighters, impoverished Americans who work hard to gain a better life for their family, and I could barely breathe.
I have been aware of more than just what I choose to acknowledge. I have been given, or forced, depending on which light you choose to look at this in, many things I have and many ideals I possess. I value many of them, but some I see are flawed. The point I guess I'm trying to make is form your own opinions, and know that those opinions and ideals are for you and relate to you. Make sure that you understand why you have these opinions and whether or not these opinions are logical, sensible, just, humane, and compassionate. Many people do things for many different reasons, like fighters.
Many fighters came from nothing, and have been given an opportunity to provide for themselves by fighting. Granted it is not an easy way into success, but it literally takes a person from grime to greatness, sometimes instantaneously. I know some people fight just because they like to fight and are naturally aggressive, and to you gentlemen, I realize this self-analysis might not be your cup of tea. But how many times do you tell yourself, "I'm a trained fighter, I have nothing to prove to anybody?" You may have nothing to prove to anybody, but how will you ever truly believe you are a valuable person unless you prove whatever it is that needs to be proven to yourself?
When I was young I was sure nobody thought like I did. Now I realize that I'm not all alone. None of us are. There is somebody out there who is exactly you, in one way, shape or form. So for you to feel completely hopeless, alone, or detuned from life, just realize that everybody has to go through some type of struggle, whether it be mental or physical. Just don't let your struggle get the best of you.
* Article by Lan Rose aka FattyBingRips.
* Back to This Issue's Frontpage
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