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There is a sound that has grown increasingly louder over the past few decades. It’s not the sound of moaning from an increase in taxes or the rumbling of stomachs from the approximate 42 million overweight North Americans. This sound, whoosh…whoosh…whoosh, is the sound of relationships in North America being flushed down the toilet.

In Canada the divorce rate is 42% while in the United States it's 50%. Nowadays, it seems the perfect relationship is like a rare gem waiting to be discovered. With the fate of long-term relationships on the decline is there really any hope for a happy family?

Wanted: A Meaningful Relationship

A good relationship has been espoused to lower the risk of alcohol abuse, mental illness, chronic disease and lower blood pressure. A good relationship supposedly acts as a buffer when the going gets tough, it allows people to lead more of a regular life filled with less stress, a better diet, and better sleep.

As an avid strength-training enthusiast, my passion for lifting grows stronger each day. After several flings with various types of dumbbells, barbells and machines for the past 9 years I’ve finally uncovered the perfect relationship. It’s been right smack dab in front of my face the whole time. I’m referring to the relationship that weight trainers, like myself across North America and all around the world, share with the iron they lift. I've come to realize that this bond is the best relationship a man or woman can have. The quality of this alliance exemplifies the true meaning of what a great relationship encompasses.

The Search is Over

Finding that perfect or near perfect somebody can be a tedious chore. After years of being alone or in failed relationships, it can take a lot of self-reflection on one’s character to finally realize that the problem lies within. Weight training on the other hand teaches and molds one’s character over a short period of time (characteristics such as self discipline, dedication and self motivation to name a few) to become a more refined individual and citizen of the world. In short, weight training makes the world a better place.

Iron vs. The Flesh

When you first meet that special someone there’s always that awkward transition period where you find out if the relationship will work out. When you first start weight training, the same takes place. However, if the individual is dedicated they will find a way to become compatible with the iron. They might get to know the iron better by spending some extra time going over various techniques in the gym, or they might hire someone to teach them the ins and outs of weight training. This is called dedication, in a relationship this can be referred to as being psychotic.

Once a relationship has surpassed the initial stage, the couple approaches the “meet the parents” phase. It’s here that a potentially great relationship can run aground. In many relationships the parents wield the power to influence whether or not the couple stays together. In weight training, this stage is called “equipment introduction,” the lifter is introduced to a new piece of equipment that can be utilized into their current program. The problem here is that if one side of the couple does not get along with their partner’s family the relationship is soured. Most often, a great relationship consists of harmony between all family members and in many cases if one side does not feel compelled to foster a positive relationship with his/her family disaster in the form of a break up awaits them down the road.

A lifter, on the other hand, can afford the luxury of making a number of mistakes without worrying about making a good impression. It’s the effort and experience that counts and what will ultimately allow them to continue on.

You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. Once it’s been said, the damage is done.

Proper execution of the three most meaningful words in the English language can call upon a glass of champagne with strawberries. Inform them at the wrong time and even the stiffest drink won’t warm them up to you. The only response that will solve this dilemma is, “I love you too.”

On the other hand, when it comes time to express your feelings of love towards iron, there is no right or wrong time, there’s no phobia of resounding silence after it’s been said, and you can take back the words at any time. In a relationship, in the heat of passion or when you’re in heat for some passion these notorious words are often blurted out and few people lack the courage to express that they were only trying to get a little bedroom action. “To be honest, I just wanted sex, that’s all, I don’t really love you, and by the way, the sex wasn’t that great,” followed by a roll over and a snore. With iron, you can speak your mind with a clear conscious and with no fear of the repercussions that might ensue.

Every relationship stumbles upon stormy patches, and looking at the current divorce rate it’s safe to say the majority of these relationships don’t always weather these times. In weight training, a rough period in a relationship is akin to the inevitable plateau. It always rears itself at some point in an individual’s career. Fortunately, there are a number of tried and true techniques that a lifter has at his disposal. Techniques that have been proven effective, such as forced reps, lifting to failure, drop sets, pre exhaust, and negatives can be used to push themselves out of these hard areas and into a new level. With iron there is no such thing as proper technique implementation; sooner or later one will work. In a relationship there are slim pickings. Scheduling a visit to see a counselor (Dr Phil for the men, Oprah for the ladies) is about the only choice there is.

Cheating during any relationship is a cardinal sin. Once it’s happened the relationship is never the same again. What was once a blissful relationship is now full of mistrust. However, cheating is often encouraged in many circles when it comes to weightlifting, and at other times it's best used sparingly. If used properly, cheating can strengthen the bond between the lifter and the iron they lift.

There are a number of instances where the bond between iron and lifter outweigh the benefits of a good old flesh on flesh relationship.

Iron never holds any records of wrong doings, you can take a break at any time and still come back and it will welcome you with open arms. Making faces and calling it the filthiest and vilest names can help overcome the struggle with iron. You can drop it, smack it, kick it, just plain abuse it, and it won’t break up with you. Many times people will fantasize about iron. Iron is known to give off a pleasant side effect known as the “pump”. This side effect can even be better then sex. In most cases a bout with iron lasts longer than the average North American romp in bed. People prioritize their day around iron, go to workshops and buy books to learn more about iron. Iron will never betray you or sleep with your best friend. It’s a loyal, faithful companion and will stick by you through thick and thin, richer or poorer and through sickness and health. It will always be there.

There’s a song by Barry White and it sums up the relationship trainees have with iron:

“You’re my first, my last, my everything
and the answer to all my dreams
you're my sun, my moon, my guiding star
my kind of wonderful, that's what you are

I know there's only, only one like you
there’s no way they could have made two
you're all I’m living for
your love I’ll keep for evermore,
you're the first my last my everything”

In the end, you can look for love in all the right places and never be truly satisfied. From the moment you first set your hands on cold hard steel, whether it’s scraped, dented, bent or brand spanking new, nothing beats the loving you’ll receive from this ideal match. It’s the perfect relationship that keeps on giving.

About Maki Riddington

Maki Riddington is a CPT Body Recomposition and Strength and Conditoning Specialist based in Vancouver British Columbia. For more info go to www.dynamicconditioning.ca