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Drowning in a Pool of Shadows part 1 of 2
by Tanner Rhoden mod & writer @ IronLife.com
Ecstasy is a very difficult drug to write about. Most "E" experiences consist of you and some friends sitting around an apartment or house listening to some form of upbeat dance music. Throw in some vicks, plenty of cigarettes, a nice massage, bottled water and a lot of weed and you've got yourself a party.
 The thing that always amazed me about ecstasy are the genuine, heart to heart conversations you would have with anyone and everyone around you. You could be sitting in a room with someone you don't care for at all but for that short amount of time on this drug that person would become one of your closest friends. That's a very scary thought considering the next day when everyone is sitting around taking hits from a bong, trying to bring back what little "E" you possibly could, you would like nothing more than for those people you didn't care for to get the hell out of your apartment or house as fast as humanly possible.
Rather than talk about all the fun times I had with this drug I would like to discuss one very bad experience I had. Maybe reading this with persuade some people to never take this drug again. At this point in my life having taken all the ecstasy that I have I honestly think that taking one more pill might kill me.
This story I'm about to tell took place years ago at a Rave in a sound studio in Santa Monica, CA. My friend Jeff was in town visiting me from Florida. We hadn't discussed the possibility of doing ecstasy while he was here. The drug just kind of took me over because of my need and lack of will power at the time.
Jeff and I were just hanging out at my old apartment one day, getting stoned, when there was a knock at my door. My old friend Kevin had dropped by unexpectedly. (On a side note, Kevin died later that year in an automobile accident) Kevin wanted to know if we'd be interested in going to a jungle party later that night. At first the idea didn't really sound appealing to me or Jeff. We just wanted to chill, smoke and drink. But, the more Kevin told us about this party the more I became interested. The lineup of DJ's was incredible. Names like Deacon, R.A.W, Curious and AK1200 were confirmed to be there. Plus, the more I thought about how close the party was to us the more I convinced myself and Jeff that we should go.
As the hours drew near my need for "E" began to take over. Without even consulting Jeff or Kevin I called one of my dealers at the time. He told me to meet him at his house as soon as I could get there. I told Jeff and Kevin that I was going to the store real quick to pick up a few things. "Make yourselves at home, I'll be right back."
When I got to my dealers we went in his room and sparked up a joint. I told him where we were going and that I would be needing some "E" for the evening. He said the pills he was carrying were called "MJ's" and that he didn't know anything about them cause they were brand new. It didn't really matter to me. He had never let me down before. The pills were always great. So, without questioning the new pills, I bought eight off him.
When I showed back up at the apartment empty handed from "the store" I figured one of them would say something about it. To my surprise neither of them asked me a thing about where I had been. I swear, you can get anything by stoners.
We took my old Mustang to the rave and I drove because I was always known as the one that could and would drive under any circumstance. If only we had known what was in store for us that evening no one would have driven. We would have stayed home and smoked pot all night in peace. Who had to screw it up for everyone? Naturally, it would be me. Man, was I ever a weak son of a bitch when it came to "E." As soon as the thought of rolling entered my mind I had to get it. I didn't care what anyone else thought about it. I was going to do it with or without you. Being alone on ecstasy was never a problem for me. Those are stories for a later date.
It only took about fifteen minutes to get to the rave from my house. The location had a lot of potential for a massive party. These sound studios could easily fit five hundred people comfortably. The price to get in was only $15 which is a lot cheaper than most parties.
To our surprise, once we got in, there was no more than fifty people there. You could literally hear crickets chirping as a pin dropped to the floor. I was very disappointed. We each expected a massive showing and got a massive nothing. The only positive things going for us at this point was the lineup of DJ's we were going to hear and the ecstasy I had in the lining of my old Adidas visor. Keep in mind, neither of my friends knew I had pills on me at this point.
We found a comfortable spot and began to get lost in the music. After a little time, Kevin said, "I wonder if I'll be able to score any ecstasy here tonight?" Jeff then followed with, "yeah, I would do some tonight too if we found it." I began laughing at that moment. They sat there staring like I was a dragon with six heads. After they asked what the hell I was laughing at I told them they didn't need to go and look for pills at the party. I then pulled off my visor and handed them each a pill. Jeff yelled, "I KNEW IT!! I knew you were up to something earlier when you said you were going to the store." Kevin never suspected anything. He was just happy that I had "E".
We then made our way to the concession stand to buy some water and get our evening going full throttle. The pills tasted abnormally disgusting once they hit your tongue. Usually "E" is gross and bitter anyway but these were extra horrible. Maybe a first indication that something was fucked with these pills? No, don't think so. My mentality told me, "hey, these taste worse than any other ecstasy ever. Maybe they're even stronger than most."
After about an hour of waiting for the pills to kick in we still felt nothing. All three of us were growing very impatient. We wanted to be rolling at that very moment. I looked at my friends, took off my visor, and handed them each another pill to take. The count was now at two a piece.
Another twenty minutes passed and now both pills were coming on strong. All worries and bad thoughts were gone. They had been replaced with feelings of bliss and harmony mixed in with nonstop bass beats. Time no longer mattered. We were living in the moment and loving every second of it. Happy thoughts and conversation began taking place. Everything was perfect until I decided to do something very stupid. I tugged on Jeff and gave him a nod as to say, follow me. We got up and went outside leaving Kevin inside alone. I handed Jeff another pill and gave him a smile. He was very reluctant to take it. He said, "I don't know, man. I think I'm fucked up enough right now." I, of course, followed with, "dude, it's only three pills.....we've done way more than that before." After convincing him that I was right, we took another pill each and went back ...................to be continued next month.
* Article by Tanner Rhoden mod & writer @ IronLife.com.
* Back to This Issue's Frontpage
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