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Helped a guy with TOURRETTE'S SYNDROME at my gym!
by Victorian Guy, Team IronLife.com Staff Writer
Brothers,
As you may know by now, helping my fellow bodybuilding brothers is something I am always prepared to do, because that is the kind of decent human being that I am.
Case in point- the other week, while training legs with Nobby, I couldn't help but notice a fellow who kept blurting out obscenities as he trained. While doing curls, he kept snarling something like "...FUCKIN FUCKERS....ELEPHANT COCK-SUCKING SLUT FUCKER BITCH!!", sputtering and spitting as he spat out foul and obscene things. "Ee's fookin HAHDCORE.." Nobby commented. "No, Nobby, he's a man with a serious condition that needs treatment...that man, Nobby, has TOURRETTES Syndrome!" I declared.
 The gym manager and a personal trainer approached the man, as he rested between sets. "Excuse me...sir....please you'll have to stop yelling obscenities...we will have to ask you to leave...some members have complained to us" the manager said, motioning to a couple of middle-aged women using treadmills, and nervously looking over at the man.
The fellow with Tourrettes Syndrome started quivering, then spat out "Big fucking monkey cocks! Fuck off you fuckin fuckers!"
With that, the manager marched off, picked up the phone and likely contacted the police.
Well, bros, I'd seen enough of this poor handicapped fellow being mistreated. I lumbered over to the front desk, and began berating the manager. Nobby made his way over to the two women who had complained, and flipped over the treadmills while they were on them!
After setting the manager straight, I made my way to the handicapped man and offered to help. "Look, brother, you need treatment. Tourrettes Syndrome CAN be managed with treatment and medication...". He looked lost. "What the fuck? I ain't go no fuckin turret's syndrome or whatever. So fuck you you cocksucking fucker!" he snarled. "This is for your own good!" I declared, then clotheslined him to the ground. Nobby took out his bike chain and began beating the man, screaming the whole time. Finally subdued, we took him out to the parking lot, tossed him in the trunk of the Rolls Royce, and headed over to the nearest insane asylum. We dragged him in the front doors, and dumped his beaten semi-conscious form in front of the reception counter. "This man has Tourrettes syndrom- see to it he gets the help he NEEDS!" I commanded the shocked nurse at the counter.
Nobby and I headed out. Haven't see the man around the gym ever since. Surely he is in treatment, and at night, as I remind myself of my kindness, I sleep the sleep of the just!
* Article by Victorian Guy, Team IronLife.com Staff Writer.
* Back to This Issue's Frontpage
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